How I Don't Forget

Memory can feel slippery after loss—details blur, voices fade, and the timeline stretches until the day-to-day feels far from the life you shared. We open up about the fear of forgetting and the choices that help us keep love present: writing down core memories, building photo books you can visit when you’re ready, and creating private online spaces where friends leave stories on birthdays and angel days without pressure or performance.

We talk about the symbols that evolve with us—how a wedding ring can become a pendant that carries meaning into a new season, and how taking a ring off early can be an act of truth-telling that helps the body accept reality. Grief shows up in the ordinary: a pet who still looks for their person, a coat that holds a familiar weight, the sudden swell of a song in the grocery store. We share how videos and voicemails can comfort, why it’s okay to press play later, and how to honor both the soft memories and the complicated edges so your person doesn’t become a myth.

For parents, the long arc of remembering brings its own tenderness. We explore ways to protect space for kids to grieve, keep photos accessible, and let small rituals—like wearing a parent’s ring—carry connection forward. Legacy isn’t only a brick or a headstone, though those matter; it’s also the daily decision to live well, say their names, and invite others to tell the stories that prove they were here. Join us for a grounded, honest look at memory, legacy, and the simple practices that keep love close without getting stuck in the past.

If this resonated, follow the show, share it with a friend who needs it, and leave a review to help others find Your Friend in Grief.

Transcript

Welcome And Today’s Topic

SPEAKER_00 0:02

Hi, welcome to Your Friend in Grief, a podcast for anyone learning who they are after loss. I'm Melinda and I'm here with Milani, and we're so grateful you are here.

SPEAKER_02 0:13

We've created a space where grief is honored, where healing is never rushed, and where your heart is allowed to feel everything it feels.

SPEAKER_00 0:24

Good morning. Well, good afternoon, friend. How are you? Hello, friend. How are you?

SPEAKER_02 0:32

How are you today?

SPEAKER_00 0:33

Good. Got a slow start, but uh, you know, we're here.

SPEAKER_02 0:37

We had a little bit of a reschedule, but it's good. No, it's all good.

How I Don’t Forget Revealed

SPEAKER_00 0:41

Absolutely. Absolutely. Well, we've picked our cat this the wheel picked our category this morning for us, and it's love, memory, and legacy. So that's a big one. So I am going to show the wheel for the topic, and we will see what it picks for us to talk about today. It's kind of a big, a big category. What is it?

SPEAKER_02 1:14

Come a little bit closer. It's a little bit blurry. Okay, here we go. How I don't forget.

SPEAKER_00 1:21

Oh, how I don't forget. That's a big topic. Immediately I'm like, oh no. This is gonna be heavy.

SPEAKER_02 1:34

Can we change?

SPEAKER_00 1:37

Can we change the whole form? Can we change the format of the podcast already?

SPEAKER_02 1:41

No, no, no, I'm only kidding.

SPEAKER_00 1:43

I know, I know, me too. But it's but that's that, it's that. Oh. Yeah. How I don't forget.

SPEAKER_02 1:52

Um yeah, I think we touched upon that a little bit last episode.

SPEAKER_00 1:58

A little bit, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 2:00

Um you know, when we were talking about uh saying their names.

SPEAKER_00 2:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 2:05

Um you made me go first last time, so I'm gonna make you go first this time.

Journals And Core Memories

SPEAKER_00 2:10

I didn't know we were keeping score, and I didn't know that. Uh didn't remember that. Okay. Um so for me, I th there's a couple things, right? Um the first thing is I feel like the further you get away from your loss, it's not so much that it gets easier or you know, you're you're carrying it better. But I think part of what happens is your brain doesn't remember the details as much. You lose the details as it becomes further away, right? And I think, and in some cases, if you have like I'm not gonna go there, but sometimes in death people are more revered, right? You forget some of the challenges and things. And I'm not saying that about the spouses here. Um, I'm just saying in general, when people die, right? You forget some of the things that were maybe negative. Like, you know, my grandmother, she was a wild woman and had mood swings, but in death, we don't remember those things of her, right? We just remember the lovely, sweet things. So I think the brain forgets some of the details. And for me, because we didn't have kids, and because I'm 56, I'm worried about forgetting those details. Like there's some of those things that I don't want to lose. So one of the things I did is I started it in a journal and I just started writing down like core memories um of him, of specific conversations that would take because I have conversations in my head that I can go back to that instant and relive that whole moment, even all these years later, five and a half years. Um, and so I was writing all these things down because I didn't want to forget, and I bought a nice leather-bound journal, and I've been writing those things in there so that if I get to a point where he feels far away and I need to feel closer to him, I will open the book and I will read those things that will take me instantaneously to those moments. And those are important moments for me because it's the crux of the relationship for me. Um one of the moments was in our last home. I was sitting in a recliner and our kitchen was open. It was a galley kitchen, but it was open to the living room. I was sitting there, he was doing some kind of food prep. He was like, No, you sit, you rest. I'm gonna, I'm just gonna do all this. And I'm like, I just was watching him and I'm just like, What's wrong? What's bothering you? What is going on? And he was like, he looked at me funny, and then he smiled, and he's like, How do you do that? And I'm like, Do what? He's like, How do you know exactly the moment when I'm thinking about something that's bothering me or that something's just not right? And I'm like, I just know you. And so then we had a long conversation about what was bothering him, right? It was family related. And I wrote down that memory because I when I spoke that to you just now, I was back in that living room and I saw Mike. In that moment, I I was able to relive it again. And that's one of the things that I did that I do to continue because things happen that trigger memories all the time, right?

SPEAKER_02 5:50

Sure.

Photo Books And Tangible Keepsakes

SPEAKER_00 5:51

Like you hear a song in a grocery store now, and it's like, oh, that song, it brings up a memory. And so when I have those things that trigger, I put those down and write them. And so that was that's kind of one of the main things I do continually. Um, the one thing I did initially was I created a photo book uh online um and then had it printed out. And it was notes about our life and our journey together from when we first met, and that also helps me remember. I don't take it out, I have it tucked away with a box of his things. And if and when I feel the the need to go through it, then I will. But I have it. So that's that's kind of how I don't forget in the long run, right? Right. How about you?

SPEAKER_02 6:53

Um You know, there are these things that you think you would never forget about your kid, like the sound of their voice or the way their hands looked, or how tall they were. Um and I can tell you because February 26th will be we're 20 years out.

unknown 7:20

Wow.

SPEAKER_02 7:20

That's crazy, right? That's um I'm starting to forget those things.

SPEAKER_01 7:29

Oh.

A Parent’s Fear Of Forgetting

SPEAKER_02 7:30

Yeah, those those like little details. But I I can, if I need to, go pull up a video or recording and I can watch those things. Um whether I actually want to do that or not, probably a different question, right? Umitially I started, and I did this for both Evan and for Dennis. I started a Facebook group. Um for Evan, it's remembering Evan, and for Dennis, it's remembering Dennis, where people can go and share if they're missing them or a thought or a memory, or you know, and we're usually pretty active in it when it's um their angel days or their birthdays, right? Yeah, and I sometimes will go in there and kind of well, I guess it won't be anonymous anymore. Any anonymous postings you see in there are from me. Only because I I sometimes, especially since we're not in Connecticut anymore, sometimes I just need someplace to go. Yeah. To um remember and share something, kind of like get it off of my chest. And I don't really want a lot of comments about it. Right. Right. And I I don't want people to be like, oh, she's feeling sad. That's why she's posting.

SPEAKER_00 9:04

Right. Because anytime you talk about your person, oh, she must be really sad and depressed.

SPEAKER_02 9:09

Right. I mean, I I think both can be true, right? Like I can be doing well. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 9:17

Um and you can still be sad.

SPEAKER_02 9:19

And also miss my person, right? Those two things can exist together. Um, so yes, initially those two Facebook groups were really important. You I don't think I even shared those with you. Have I ever shared those with you?

SPEAKER_00 9:33

I never knew this. This is all brand. I love this. And this is why we wanted the wheel to be very spontaneous and us not know what the category is, because you know, if it was a melancholy day, I might feel more melancholy about it, right?

SPEAKER_02 9:47

Right. Absolutely. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 9:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 9:51

Um, I think I think I made both of them private groups, so whoever was in it got to stay. But who because they're, you know, people come in and control your groups, right?

SPEAKER_00 10:02

Yeah, look-you lose. It's the accident on the side of the road.

SPEAKER_02 10:05

Yeah. Um, so if if you want it to look, I would definitely give you access.

Memory Groups And Private Spaces

Being Remembered By Friends

SPEAKER_00 10:12

I love that you did that for them. I never that never even crossed my mind, right? And I think that that goes to we all remember people differently, and what's right for me may not be right for you, right? And Mike and I, um, you know, it was just we were we had a smaller friend group. It wasn't like we had a child who was popular and played all the sports in school and all the things, right? Or Mike wasn't a teacher, right? Where he had, you know, hundreds of students who knew him and all the things. Um, you know, it's it's funny because in addition to all of that, one of the things that is that absolutely warms and touches my heart is those friends of his who text me on his birthday or on a holiday and tell me how much you know they're thinking of him or they miss him, and um all of those things. And it it matters so much to me that they take the time to do that because they acknowledge that he was here and he mattered to them. Absolutely, and for me, that's the important piece of it. Um the other thing that happens on a on the daily that I obviously could never forget, right? How I don't forget is Mike was Toby's person. Toby just walked across the screen. Um, Toby, we used to call him Mike's little duck because he would follow Mike around constantly and have to be touching him. And if Mike was sitting down, Toby would have to be in his lap. And here we go. This is 24-7 with this with this guy. He is gotta be right here, he's gotta be in the middle of everything, he's gotta be near me. It's just who he is. Um, and so that's a daily reminder of the absence. Yes. Of the absence, because, well, gosh, why is Toby acting all crazy? Because he is, you know, Mike was his person. He was doing this to Mike. And when there's two of you, it's much easier to manage. It's easier to manage the child. One of you takes the child when the other one's doing chores. In my case now, there is none of that. There is no one to watch the child while I am the furry child while I'm doing laundry or while I'm cooking, or and he gets very annoyed. He gets very annoyed, and so he demands his attention. Um that's on the daily. Um and then the the other thing that I just did, and it took it took about five and a half years. Um, because of my circumstance, I when I went to to purchase a new home and find a place to live of my own after we sold the house, um, I ended up in a 55 plus community. So I stopped wearing my wedding ring very soon after Mike died, which not everybody does, right? Some people still wear their wedding rings years and years after, but I had to put mine away because I wanted to control the narrative of the people that I was meeting and making sure they didn't see a ring on my hand. And just this past year, as you very well know, I have repurposed my wedding ring and two anniversary bands into an incredible pendant that I absolutely love, cherish, and now wear regularly. And I could not be happier. And another dear friend of ours was the one who recommended, like, Mike would really want you to wear those diamonds, you know. And I'm like, yeah, I'll never wear that ring again. And I was finally ready, and now I love it as a pendant and I wear it all the time. And I work from home and I still wear it, and I'm like, okay, you know, today's one of the days we're gonna wear it. And so it's just it's a piece of me now, and so that's a very positive remembrance for me.

SPEAKER_02 14:19

I also stopped wearing my um wedding band and engagement ring almost almost right away, only because when I would go to put it on in the morning, it just it it felt like it was a lie. Right? Like it didn't it I was like, what am I putting this on for? Where like he's not here. Who am I married to anymore?

SPEAKER_00 14:44

Right. It was like reality in the face.

SPEAKER_02 14:49

A very painful reality, yes.

SPEAKER_00 14:51

Uh-huh. And like I I can't fool myself about this.

SPEAKER_02 14:57

Exactly. That's exactly what it was.

SPEAKER_00 15:00

Because I really felt like I think I've told you, and I think I've said this in the podcast, that I had to say he died.

SPEAKER_01 15:08

Yeah.

Daily Reminders Through Pets

SPEAKER_00 15:08

I couldn't say he passed away. And I think that was convin me convincing myself of this is what happened. This, like, you need to keep remembering this because it feels like a dream, a nightmare. It just feels unreal. Right. And I think maybe we do some of those things to not fool ourselves in order to get through the day.

SPEAKER_02 15:30

Maybe, yeah. Or maybe it's just um because everything is so different after your person dies. And I I don't know. I think it's just kind of like falling in with all the other things that are different.

SPEAKER_00 15:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 15:52

You know, I I I myself have a better time at it if I start working on it right away instead of kind of like pushing it off, right?

SPEAKER_00 16:02

And so yeah.

SPEAKER_02 16:03

Yeah, that was one of my first steps was to acknowledge my reality that I I didn't have a husband anymore.

SPEAKER_00 16:09

Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 16:11

And I and I think that that's I think that that's Physically I didn't have a husband anymore.

SPEAKER_00 16:16

Right.

SPEAKER_02 16:17

Yeah.

Repurposing Rings Into New Meaning

SPEAKER_00 16:17

Right. And I think I think some of that is I think it's our brain like protecting us of like, no, you need you need to not pretend or hide, right? Because the reality is I wanted to crawl under the covers and not, I I just wanted to not like, I don't want to think about this. I I would I would like to pretend this didn't even happen and I don't want to talk about it, and I don't want to think about it. And and that's not an option. You don't get that option of like, hey, let's take a day off and pretend nothing happened. That's just not um at all. And so and this is this is different for me. Um that I I still have a picture of Mike in my bedroom. Um and it's prominent, and I see it um ironically, it was a picture that he had never shared with me. I found it on his phone after he passed, and it was of him and Toby's twin brother Milo. And something in me, because Milo had been, we had Milo had been going through cancer treatments, chemotherapy, um, just just before Mike died, he finished his chemo. And I knew in that instant that I was gonna lose Milo too. I just something in me just I knew in my heart, I'm like, I'm gonna lose Milo too. He's gonna be the next one that I'm gonna lose. And it wasn't I wasn't being over dramatic. I wasn't, it was just like a reality. And that picture is still on on my it's it's visible from my bed of the two of them. And um, you know, it it'll take as long as it takes until I am ready to take it down or put it somewhere else. But right now, it's still in the bedroom, it's still prominent. Um and but I don't have any other pictures around. I don't well, I don't have too many. I guess I do have one. I have a baby picture of him. So, but I don't have pictures like I don't have our wedding picture up anymore, and I don't have any of those things, right? Um, it's very minimal. And I think the other thing of remembering him is I do have a lot of things, like pictures and things that we had in our house that he loved that maybe I didn't love as much, and I haven't I haven't sold them, I haven't given them away. They're tucked away in a closet, and that's where they'll stay until I'm ready to to do something with them. But there's no rush. Right. There's no rush on that.

SPEAKER_02 19:02

Right.

SPEAKER_00 19:03

And I don't ever want to put a time frame on that.

SPEAKER_02 19:06

So we had a really nice picture of Dennis and I together that actually sat in our living room that Jackson had taken. And um You know, when you're the photographer, you're you're rarely in pictures, right? And Jack, we were, I think we were in a Chinese restaurant, and Jackson grabbed one of our phones and snapped a picture of the two of us. And it was a really, really nice one.

SPEAKER_00 19:32

That's amazing.

SPEAKER_02 19:34

After we lost Dennis, I I couldn't look at that picture. But I didn't want to get rid of it. So we moved it into Jackson's room.

SPEAKER_00 19:46

Oh, I love that.

SPEAKER_02 19:48

Because he, you know, like we were still his parents, right? Right. Um I love that. And and that's where it stayed until he left for the Navy.

Facing Reality And Naming Death

SPEAKER_00 20:00

I love that. That's very cool. That's a great way to remember him. And especially for Jackson, right? You're allowing space for Jackson to have those memories and not well.

SPEAKER_02 20:14

I I didn't want it to be one of these things where if it was hard for me to look at, that I would erase that um opportunity or right. How do you how do I say this? Like I because I was feeling funky about something, I didn't want Jackson to not have the opportunity to visit with his father to look at pictures, you know. Right. Um Yeah, no, because he he deserved to be able to look at those things as much as he wanted. And he never asked to take those pictures out of his room.

SPEAKER_00 20:54

So Yeah. I love that. And I mean, you know, it's obviously a difference, right? You had children, Mike and I didn't have kids. And I think that that's an incredible way for you to give space and letting Jackson know that it was it is okay. Right. That yeah, it's okay to have those things around. And he's not gone. He's in he's here in your heart, and he's still your father. And this is a legacy, right?

SPEAKER_02 21:22

Absolutely.

The Bedroom Photo And Permissions

SPEAKER_00 21:22

Um and I know this is a little bit of a heavier topic than we've had. Kind of, it's there's not a lot, there's not as much laughter uh in this episode as uh It's early. It's it is it is early. It's early. It is early. Uh, and this this may end up being a shorter episode, right? Thinking that we've maybe gone through some of the things. Um, the only other thing I've done legacy-wise is I I did pay for a memorial brick here in my community. Um, you know, I I made sure his headstone, you know, was uh was taken care of and all of those things. And I wanted it to be, you know, something that, you know, people would look at and go, oh, that's you know, he must have been a good man, right? And um because I I don't want people to forget him because he was a great man and kind. And you know, I guess that's the biggest thing about memory and legacy is you want people to say, Oh my gosh, can you remember the time when Mike did this? Or do you remember when we did this with Mike? Or, you know, those things are incredible. And I had one of Mike's friends, we had a conversation maybe a year or so ago on the phone, and she was fantastic. And she was just like, I remember when he met you, he was head over heels. He told me how much he just was like, This is the girl, this is the girl, and that just makes me feel great, right? That like, and those are just memories that I'll have, but those are the types of things I write down in the book, sure. So that I don't forget because it's your memory, not everybody's memory stays clear to the end.

SPEAKER_02 23:16

No, like I said, the things that you think you would never as a parent forget about your kid, and some of those things are fading. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 23:23

Oh, absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 23:24

Um, uh the other thing too when Evan died, I had this point where it was it was a very deciding point where my life was gonna go. Either I was gonna roll over and crawl into bed and stay there, or I was going to do better and take care of Nathan and um, you know, live as much as we possibly could. And uh I was sitting thinking one day, like, how how do I best honor this child's life? And for me that was to decide to live and to take really good care of Nathan because he was crazy about him, and he would have been really upset with me if I had done otherwise. And I I think it was the same way with Jackson and Dennis, right? Because Jackson is um his father's mini-me, very much a reminder of Dennis's existence. And how would I best honor Dennis by taking care of his son? Right, right? So, yeah, those were definitely more so with Evan than it was with Dennis because I was clear, it was very clear that I I still had some work to do, right? I had a job to finish raising Jackson. Um I was like out of my head when Evan died. Um it's really by the grace of God that Nathan made it through because I don't know who took care of him in those early days.

SPEAKER_00 25:30

You know, there's yeah, yeah, there's how does that all work, right?

SPEAKER_02 25:36

Yeah. I mean when you you you feel terrible, your whole world has just come crashing down, but you still have another kid to take care of.

SPEAKER_00 25:44

I don't know how you did it because I could barely take care of the cats. Like it was it took everything. You just had to.

Making Space For Children’s Grief

SPEAKER_02 25:52

Yes. Yes, but I had more people around who probably gave me the grace to say she could stay in bed today and have another day of no shower, because we'll take care of Nathan. Right?

SPEAKER_00 26:11

And and I and I can attest, you needed that because I needed it. I I I needed it.

SPEAKER_01 26:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:18

That was, yeah, absolutely, of like, yeah, we're just gonna, we're just not gonna do anything here. We're just gonna stay in bed. Right. That's okay. And it's okay. It is okay. Because this is especially when you lose a spouse or a child, it is it is absolutely like gut wrenching. And you have to feel those things. You have to go through those things and um not leave that. Um just not leave it unattended.

SPEAKER_02 26:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:51

You have to you have to attend to the grief. Um, you have to take you have to take care of it and make sure that you're taking care of you. Um one of the things I have a video, I have a couple videos of Mike, not a lot, but a couple. And one of them is a video he took where Toby was being very cute and hopped into this very tall laundry basket, and Mike's talking to him. And um, I made the mistake one day, um, probably within the first few months of Mike passing, and I watched it without headphones. Toby about lost his mind because he was hearing Mike's voice, and I've never made that mistake again. Um, but I have that video, I do listen to it every once in a while because it's it's comfort. And it's, you know, he existed and it's it's there and it's love. And you know, now I can watch it without crying, right? I mean, it's it has a different, it has a different purpose now. It makes me smile, it makes me, it reminds me of the way he cared about Toby and you know, our our pets and um just who he was. So, you know, there's those things too. Right.

SPEAKER_02 28:04

Well, you know, they they don't disappear, right? Just because they died, they don't just magically don't exist.

SPEAKER_00 28:11

Exactly.

SPEAKER_02 28:13

I mean, I I in a way do they almost exist more in death than they did in life?

SPEAKER_00 28:21

Yeah, potentially. I mean, because yeah, when he was alive, I might not have been at work thinking about him or, you know, in the you know, just constantly, you know, especially in the early days of grief, and uh because the absence is so big.

SPEAKER_02 28:38

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 28:39

Because the absence is so big, and I think that that's a great point that it really is that you are they are more around and more in your in your thoughts.

Legacy, Bricks, And Being Known

SPEAKER_02 28:53

And you're I still talk to both of them. I still um I still really feel their presence around.

unknown 29:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 29:02

I love that for you. I um when Mike died and I moved in with with friends, I started writing him letters daily. And I just I would just pour my heart out and I would just cry. And it was just and I still have those letters and I go back and I've read them, and I've only read a f I've read, you know, I don't read the whole thing because I did it for months, months and months, and it's heavy. You can of course yeah, and you can see the grief changing over time through those writings, and I I think it was one of the best things I could have ever done for myself because I missed him, I missed his companionship, I missed having him there, I missed, we were each other's best friends, so I missed having that contact, and that gave me a little way to kind of connect with him. Um, you know, I think that those letters helped me kind of process my grief too.

SPEAKER_02 30:08

So it's funny because I I I could not have done that because for me I would have been waiting for a response and it would have I would have been upset that I didn't get a response. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 30:25

And that would have just kind of annoyed you, like the whole wife-husband, like little irritation. Like, why haven't you responded?

SPEAKER_02 30:31

No, like it would have been like um because it's hard to miss somebody and it's so and when you know they're never coming back, yeah. Right? So no, they they can't respond. And to me, uh, it would have been just another hard reality in the face that no, you can write as much as you want, but you're never getting a response.

SPEAKER_00 30:55

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 30:57

I would have been pissed.

Choosing To Live As Honor

SPEAKER_00 31:00

I kind of love that. I kind of love that. I kind of actually really love that. Um, I never thought of it that way because I was just kind of like pouring my heart out onto paper. But I kind of love that. Maybe I need to be angry and in, you know, back. Oh, that's so funny. I kind of love that.

SPEAKER_02 31:28

Well, you know, you're so much nicer than I am.

SPEAKER_00 31:31

So that's not true. That's not true at all. But it is, but it is funny, right? And I think this is the point that love, legacy, love, memory, and legacy is absolutely individual. We all do it differently, we all remember them differently, and different things matter. Different things are important to us. Absolutely. And it matters.

SPEAKER_02 31:59

I have everybody's process is different. There's no right or wrong way, right?

SPEAKER_00 32:03

Nope. It's there's no right, there's no wrong. There is a piece of clothing that I will never get rid of. It was, it's a black wool uh trench coat that we got him for. We got him at Joseph Banks. We went to an outlet. It was like a hundred dollars, supposed to be like a$300 coat. I will never get rid of that coat. That to me is Mike. That is that is him. He always looked so great in that coat, and he always like he loved that coat. And but it was that I'll never get rid of. It's in my closet, and that's where it'll stay. And I don't have to look at it, I don't have to try it on, I don't have to wear it, I don't have to smell it. It's just there. And having it there gives me just a sense of comfort. I said that. And I think everybody, you know, and that's the point is that you can remember and love your person and keep the things that matter to you the most or that are those memories. Um I still have his wedding ring. I used to wear it when it would fit me, like on my index finger. Um, it's just tucked away now, and it'll stay tucked away, but um, you know, those things that are important that are important. And I think um everybody's different, and the path is different, the journey is different. And I definitely think that that's kind of the point of all this is that it's not a direct path, it's not the same for everyone, and you can remember and love and have that legacy differently. It's different when you have kids than when you don't have kids, right? I mean, you had to keep Dennis alive more because of the kids, because of Jackson, right? Making sure that, you know, Jackson still knew who his dad was.

Attending To Grief And Rest

SPEAKER_02 33:53

Which not that he ever would have forgotten because he was, you know, it's not like he was little, little and he would have been too young to remember his dad, but I just um in the same way that I loved talking about Evan, and we I didn't want to pretend like he never existed. I wanted that to be the same thing for Nathan and Jackson about Dennis.

unknown 34:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 34:24

You know, I would never shy away from talking about him or saying his name. And I mean they they they lost their dad. How do you erase that? You know, you don't erase that. No, not at all. Not at all. Jackson wears Dennis's wedding band.

SPEAKER_00 34:47

I love that.

SPEAKER_02 34:48

Yeah, act Dennis actually had two of them. Um I wore one on a chain for probably about the first six months, and Jackson wore the other one.

SPEAKER_00 35:02

I love that. That's awesome. I think that's fantastic. I think that's a great way. And you know what? I think that's a great way to kind of wrap up this episode.

SPEAKER_02 35:12

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 35:13

I love that. I absolutely love that. Um thank you for being here with us today. If this episode supported you, moved you, or simply made you um feel a little less alone, then we'd love for you to share it with someone who might need it. And you can connect with us with us on social media. You can connect with us at your friend in grief at on Instagram. And um we just appreciate you joining us today. Very much. Be well. Be well.